The monster under my bed was sobbing,
Coz I hadn’t fed him in a week.
I told my mum.
She gave him some rum and coke.
He died of stroke.
We buried him in the yard.
Our Saint Bernard
Had dug him out of grave.
‘Don’t you misbehave!’
Mum said. ‘We’ve run out of bread.’
Dad put his crop top
And went to the shop,
But got some beer instead.
I put a cross on the monster’s last home.
The Saint Bernard was chewing on his bone.
‘What a family night!’ Dad cried.
‘All right, let’s play a board game!’
‘He had a tiny brain,’
I wept over the tomb.
‘No need to be upset!’ Mum yelled.
‘We’ll buy you a new freak,
And now it’s time to sleep!’